I am coming up.

First an ode to my favorite coat:
     Today I have to face the fact that my favorite winter coat is ready to retire. The buttons are screaming, the lining is exposing itself, and the collar has grown limp. I wish to take a couple moments to celebrate the life of said coat as it has lasted me six years and elbowed past other coat-bitches to reign supreme in my closet year after cold year. I love you coat. Thank you for being here for me. I remember picking it out with a dear friend, Sunny years ago and knowing I needed a great black trench to be whole in Seattle. It has been to Alaska twice with me, in fact we almost parted once in Dutch Harbor. Someone grabbed it from the bar and before they returned it the next day I had built up this huge damaging notion in my head in which my poor coat was targeted for it's gay owner on an island in the Bering Sea. Fortunately it was an honest mistake. This will be our final winter together.
   
Anderson Cooper, be safe in Egypt boo.

Poem of mine for the day, I need to edit it a bit but here it goes...

Hold Me Down
Letting him back in felt like buzzards
their talons slowly prying through flesh to my rock/fist of a heart.
I attempt to ease his irascible ways by breathing quietly as his post-coital apologies
drip slowly.
I am not he who takes the wrong way home any longer.

Seeing the bruises in the morning reminds me of my grandmother--
she would blast “Loveable” by Sam Cooke,
tight-lipped, cleaning her double wide,
regurgitating her own history upon itself
each time my Alzheimer’s grandfather had hit her.
His unfitting obscenities pushing their way past 60 years of bible repression.

Give me a law I can hold onto.
Give me an example to follow.
Give me a god who sees me.
Or give me a man smaller than me next time.